I was right about thanksgiving. It was completely predictable, boring, a going through the motions, and a waste of an opportunity to get to know people better. I wonder if it was a self fulfilling propechy, though. I wouldn’t say I had a bad attitude going into it. I rode in the car with my family, slept all the way to dc, helped carry the food to the front door, had a glass of champagne, greeted the uncle’s parents, smiled plenty, watched the Purina 2006 Dog Show, helped set the table, and everything. It just – I felt like I was sleeping through it. I don’t think I made any lasting memories except for getting blamed for the cat’s vomit on the carpet. My sister told the whole table that I had flicked a mushroom on the carpet (its true) and that must have been what the cat ate. I took the blame, went to go get the carpet cleaner and some paper towels, and was about to wipe it up when – lo and behold, the proof was in the pudding. The cat had eaten turkey. Lots of turkey. So I go back in the dining hall and announce that there must be another culprit – the cat had vomitted turkey. Aven immediately looked away, ashamed, and when my dad asked her if SHE had fed the cat, instead of me and my mysterious mushroom, she burst into tears. I still cleaned it up for her though.
We’ve been going to sheetz alot, us richmond friends. What else is new? I know I claimed earlier this year to be more of a people person that I have been in the past, and more willing to do some of that chilled out hang out stuff. But. It still gets to me, just a little bit. I think I was just born for action, adventure, memories and stories. When I sit in a booth for an hour, sucking every last drop of milkshake up through my straw, I can’t help but wonder what kind of opportunities we are missing out on – getting to know people better through actions. Words are great. I’m an english major. I have to love them. But they are not everything. It’s just me, and not everybody is like this, but I prefer living. It’s an art. Art living. That’s what I want to be doing.
But monday was great, I almost forgot about that. We wanted to play poker, but we didnt have cash. So we drove to Walmart, well, Wendy’s first, and then, no, I didn’t want much Wendy’s, I wanted a smoothie from Wawa – so I run across Forest Hill while everyone is still in the car and buy a smoothie and some bananas. After I jaywalk back across the street, to no one’s surprise: the cars are gone. So that left me with a decent half mile walk to walmart in the 44 degree wind, carrying bananas and a frozen drink. I saw it coming. In walmart, each of us bought a 5 dollar item. We took them home and created a system for our poker game where the winner would get the last choice / steal from the group of prizes in a christmas exchange / chinese auction sort of way. This was very funny, when people started stealing people’s prized possessions. I think the results were:
me: A snakes on a plane poster (first place!)
Jimmie: Davis’s Beta Fish
Davis: the tub of popcorn
Gray: the sweet knock off aviator glasses I picked out
Steve: A two gallon tub of ice cream (which he preceded to eat with his fingers)
Alan: A fishing pole.
Also of note, I feel that I am entering a rather distant period with God, right now. But this is not cause for alarm. I think it is to be expected. It’s a test, really. At least that’s what I’d assume it has to be, since I don’t see much other explanation for having such miserable moods lately. I think with God, you cycle in and out of periods where he holds your hands. Right now, I’m out of one. He is removing himself, and asking me to walk on my own for a little while. He is still there. I can hear him. But he is not offering immediate support, or answers to what I would consider to be reasonable prayers. This is frustrating. Things are difficult. But I know it will get better, as long as I don’t lose my focus. It is an opportunity to grow and become a better, stronger person, who doesn’t have to take everything as personally as I always do. I’m excited, then, I guess. I would very much like to shed some of these snake skins.
I really am in over my head. I’m not sure if everyone knows it or not, but I am.