There is an episode of the great American classic “Pete and Pete” that stands out in my mind because of its line “the soul-sucking stretch of school that is january to spring break: the only holiday? President’s day.” That show is classic not only for it’s great lines but for the way it holds a magnifying glass to the mundane and can still find something to make you laugh. Like when the bus driver got stuck at the red light all day because it never changed. Hahaha.
Anyway, school is school. This year has been my ultimate test of patience, wit, will, and work: can I continue getting up at 530 and coming home from work at seven, just to have three hours to myself and then do it all over again? Can I still not lose my cool when the same kid has been throwing the same fit when I correct his behavior over and over again all year? And all for what? Certainly not for any kind of immediate pay off. Not for the apples or the christmas gifts (only two out of ninety-five this year); those take good parents. But it has to be for the American public school dream: that one day these kids will realize how much we helped them and that our society goes down the drain when we do nothing.
“All evil needs to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” – Batman Begins
Here are some recent funny things:
2/15 “Mr Jones, you trying to spit game?”
2/23 Mr Jones, “I need to hear three honest reactions to the fact that we have to read Shakespeare in here. You can say anything!” Student one: “It sucks.” Student two: “What’s the point?” Student three: “I think it echoes of the human experience and helps us contemplate every facet of philosophy.” Thank God for the honors kids who drop down to regular.
2/25 – Student on the word juxtaposition: “That kind of like mixing peanut butter and baloney.”
3/12 – Student on his HW assignment: “Sometimes when I am online I tell people I am a lot taller than I am.”
3/12 – Female student: “This how to be a lady book is really important. I like copying out of it. Can I read this instead of our classwork?”
3/14 I really said this… “It’s amazing what Lance Armstrong can do… even with one ball.”
3/16 A student blames another student for having a knife in class. The other student says that is completely false. The first student laughs and says she really really does. I hit the office call button and they are both escorted out.
3/18 “Roses are red, violets are blue, mother says “don’t follow in the same footsteps as me, boo.”
3/18 One of my kids drew on the back of his assignment: a pterodactyl with bling and a dew-rag.